What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What do you mean son?

Are there many people here who suffer from schizophrenia?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What! how could you do that?

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”